Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Saturday, February 6, 2010
6 months old and eating rice cereal
We cannot believe how fast the time is flying by. Our sweet little baby is now 6 months old! She seems to have lost all of the "baby" things she used to do.
It was so much fun to feed her rice cereal for the first time. She did really well. (Ignore my scary claw looking hand in the video, lol) She is now eating the cereal twice a day and in a week we will start her on some veggies. Can't wait to see her reaction to those!
Friday, January 8, 2010
What not to say to someone trying to get pregnant or adopt!
To start this off I want to be clear that this is not to make people feel bad if they have said something like this to us before. We have laughed off most of what has been said to us but last night a friend said something to me that could have sent me into a fit of depression had we not all ready adopted our beautiful daughter and that I had been having a wonderful day and I was really happy at that moment. More on what she said later. What I hope people will get from this is to think before you speak. It sounds so simple yet very few do it…I have done this many times in my life and I am sure I will again. However going through our fertility and adoption journey I know what a sensitive and personal subject this is so I know better now about what not to say and ask to people. For example I try not to ask people without kids if they want kids because who knows what their situation is.
Now on to the subject of this note:
There have been many stupid things said to us over the years as we have been trying to get pregnant. We know that most of what people said to us was out of love or not understanding because they never have been through our situation, or they just aren’t sure what to say so they say what they think might bring us comfort. We know for the most part there was no ill will behind what people said to us so like I said we could laugh off most of it. Here is a list of things not to say to people who are trying to get pregnant or waiting to be picked for adoption:
JUST RELAX AND IT WILL HAPPEN (seriously people do you really think that just relaxing will magically make me get pregnant…I mean come on really!)
TRY NOT TO THINK ABOUT IT (I have been wanting something for my whole life but I am supposed to be able just to stop thinking about it. Oh and lets try a little experiment…CANDY CANDY CANDY….ok now try not to think about candy! How did that work out for you?)
YOU ARE SO LUCKY YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE PREGNANT AND GIVE BIRTH (ok really people, come on! I know this statement comes from a place where they are trying to make me feel better about not being pregnant and trying to point out the negative things from pregnancy. But really this one just hurts. I would be happy to throw up everyday for 9 months and then push out a 12 pound baby with no drugs so I would be able to experience the miracle of pregnancy and birth. To feel my little baby inside me move around and the knowledge that at the end of all that I would be taking a baby home with me…..to not have to hold my breath to wait to see if the birth mom would actually give her baby to us in the end. And please do not complain to me about how much it sucks to be pregnant. I would be happy to take your place.)
SO AND SO TRIED THIS AND THEY GOT PREGNANT…YOU SHOULD TRY IT…I BET YOU WILL BE PREGNANT IN NO TIME (Now this one isn’t that bad because maybe what so and so did might actually be able to help me out but maybe ask first if we want to know about their story and what helped them.)
I JUST KNOW THAT AS SOON AS YOU WILL ADOPT YOU WILL GET PREGNANT (First the oblivious NO you don’t know that I will get pregnant. Second that statements kinda implies that adoption is just a way for us to get pregnant. That the adopted baby is somehow a means to an end. Do you know that it has never been proven that women who haven’t been able to get pregnant and then adopt magically get pregnant. In fact those who haven’t been able to get pregnant don’t usually just magically get pregnant whether or not they have adopted. The odds are about the same for both situations. Adoption is not a cure for fertility problems!!!!
MAYBE ONCE YOU ADOPT YOU WILL GET PREGNANT AND HAVE YOUR OWN BABY (similar to the statement above but this time implying that adopted children aren’t our own child and somehow not as important. Let me tell you Katie is just as much my baby as if I had carried her and given birth to her myself!!!)
I have actually had people suggest different sexual positions that may help. Complete strangers who found out we adopted asking me if we had tried for our own. Someone once said to me that we really didn’t believe that we weren’t getting pregnant because there was a child out there that was supposed to be ours but we couldn’t give birth to…that was just something we told ourselves to get through the day.
And here is what someone said to me last night that prompted me to write this. First the back story: This person said to me a few months ago how lucky I was that I only had to adopt a baby and that I didn’t have to go through morning sickness and giving birth…how lucky I was that I didn’t have to carry Katie and give birth to her. She has also said to me how hard pregnancy is and that next time she will go the easy route like we did and just adopt. (Like it is that easy..oh and by the way she has had very little morning sickness and she is already in her second trimester…so she is having a pretty easy pregnancy so far.) So last night she said to me, “You know how last time I told you how lucky you were that you didn’t have to go through pregnancy and feel everything?” (I started to think that maybe she realized now how stupid that comment was but oh no it got so much better, and better I mean the worst ever. I think that what she said next was the stupidest, most hurtful and meanest thing anyone has ever said to me.” She went on, “I was so wrong, feeling the baby move inside me is the most incredible feeling ever! You should really keep trying to get pregnant because it is so amazing!” She went on and on for about five minutes about how amazing it was feeling the baby move and how much I was missing out on and how I should really pray and beg God to let me be pregnant and to feel what she is feeling. And she said over and over again how we should really keep trying. I was so shocked that she was saying these things to me! Didn’t she understand that I KNOW what I am missing out on not being pregnant? I can only dream of how amazing it is to feel a baby move inside me. And does she really think that we aren’t trying. (Actually I know she knows this because we have talked about it) Ken and I have been trying for almost 5 years now! And does she really think that we haven’t begged and pleaded with our Heavenly Father to let us experience the miracle of pregnancy. I mean come on, really! When I came home and told Ken what this person had said he was in shock. He couldn’t even speak for a few minutes. We were shocked that she really felt the need to explain to me how much I am missing out on!
We know that most people have good intentions or they think they are helping when they tell us these things. And that is why for the most part we don’t get offended we just laugh it off. But with the comment from this lady last night I really felt I should share what it feels like to be on the receiving side of those comments. Like I said before I am not trying to make anyone feel bad if you have said one of these things to me in the past or to someone else. May I just offer a little advice…the next time you aren’t sure what to say to someone who is going through something hard don’t try to give them advice just look them in the eyes and say “I am sorry you are going through this” or “I am here for you if you need to talk”. That is what comforted me the most!
Now on to the subject of this note:
There have been many stupid things said to us over the years as we have been trying to get pregnant. We know that most of what people said to us was out of love or not understanding because they never have been through our situation, or they just aren’t sure what to say so they say what they think might bring us comfort. We know for the most part there was no ill will behind what people said to us so like I said we could laugh off most of it. Here is a list of things not to say to people who are trying to get pregnant or waiting to be picked for adoption:
JUST RELAX AND IT WILL HAPPEN (seriously people do you really think that just relaxing will magically make me get pregnant…I mean come on really!)
TRY NOT TO THINK ABOUT IT (I have been wanting something for my whole life but I am supposed to be able just to stop thinking about it. Oh and lets try a little experiment…CANDY CANDY CANDY….ok now try not to think about candy! How did that work out for you?)
YOU ARE SO LUCKY YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE PREGNANT AND GIVE BIRTH (ok really people, come on! I know this statement comes from a place where they are trying to make me feel better about not being pregnant and trying to point out the negative things from pregnancy. But really this one just hurts. I would be happy to throw up everyday for 9 months and then push out a 12 pound baby with no drugs so I would be able to experience the miracle of pregnancy and birth. To feel my little baby inside me move around and the knowledge that at the end of all that I would be taking a baby home with me…..to not have to hold my breath to wait to see if the birth mom would actually give her baby to us in the end. And please do not complain to me about how much it sucks to be pregnant. I would be happy to take your place.)
SO AND SO TRIED THIS AND THEY GOT PREGNANT…YOU SHOULD TRY IT…I BET YOU WILL BE PREGNANT IN NO TIME (Now this one isn’t that bad because maybe what so and so did might actually be able to help me out but maybe ask first if we want to know about their story and what helped them.)
I JUST KNOW THAT AS SOON AS YOU WILL ADOPT YOU WILL GET PREGNANT (First the oblivious NO you don’t know that I will get pregnant. Second that statements kinda implies that adoption is just a way for us to get pregnant. That the adopted baby is somehow a means to an end. Do you know that it has never been proven that women who haven’t been able to get pregnant and then adopt magically get pregnant. In fact those who haven’t been able to get pregnant don’t usually just magically get pregnant whether or not they have adopted. The odds are about the same for both situations. Adoption is not a cure for fertility problems!!!!
MAYBE ONCE YOU ADOPT YOU WILL GET PREGNANT AND HAVE YOUR OWN BABY (similar to the statement above but this time implying that adopted children aren’t our own child and somehow not as important. Let me tell you Katie is just as much my baby as if I had carried her and given birth to her myself!!!)
I have actually had people suggest different sexual positions that may help. Complete strangers who found out we adopted asking me if we had tried for our own. Someone once said to me that we really didn’t believe that we weren’t getting pregnant because there was a child out there that was supposed to be ours but we couldn’t give birth to…that was just something we told ourselves to get through the day.
And here is what someone said to me last night that prompted me to write this. First the back story: This person said to me a few months ago how lucky I was that I only had to adopt a baby and that I didn’t have to go through morning sickness and giving birth…how lucky I was that I didn’t have to carry Katie and give birth to her. She has also said to me how hard pregnancy is and that next time she will go the easy route like we did and just adopt. (Like it is that easy..oh and by the way she has had very little morning sickness and she is already in her second trimester…so she is having a pretty easy pregnancy so far.) So last night she said to me, “You know how last time I told you how lucky you were that you didn’t have to go through pregnancy and feel everything?” (I started to think that maybe she realized now how stupid that comment was but oh no it got so much better, and better I mean the worst ever. I think that what she said next was the stupidest, most hurtful and meanest thing anyone has ever said to me.” She went on, “I was so wrong, feeling the baby move inside me is the most incredible feeling ever! You should really keep trying to get pregnant because it is so amazing!” She went on and on for about five minutes about how amazing it was feeling the baby move and how much I was missing out on and how I should really pray and beg God to let me be pregnant and to feel what she is feeling. And she said over and over again how we should really keep trying. I was so shocked that she was saying these things to me! Didn’t she understand that I KNOW what I am missing out on not being pregnant? I can only dream of how amazing it is to feel a baby move inside me. And does she really think that we aren’t trying. (Actually I know she knows this because we have talked about it) Ken and I have been trying for almost 5 years now! And does she really think that we haven’t begged and pleaded with our Heavenly Father to let us experience the miracle of pregnancy. I mean come on, really! When I came home and told Ken what this person had said he was in shock. He couldn’t even speak for a few minutes. We were shocked that she really felt the need to explain to me how much I am missing out on!
We know that most people have good intentions or they think they are helping when they tell us these things. And that is why for the most part we don’t get offended we just laugh it off. But with the comment from this lady last night I really felt I should share what it feels like to be on the receiving side of those comments. Like I said before I am not trying to make anyone feel bad if you have said one of these things to me in the past or to someone else. May I just offer a little advice…the next time you aren’t sure what to say to someone who is going through something hard don’t try to give them advice just look them in the eyes and say “I am sorry you are going through this” or “I am here for you if you need to talk”. That is what comforted me the most!
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Another video of Katie Laughing
Another awesome video of our little sweetie laughing. We just can't get enough of her!
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Katie has been laughing for a few weeks now. It is the best sound in the world. It sounds like it comes straight from her belly, lol! And if you watch till the very end you can see how much she likes it when I give her kisses. Every time she hears the sound she knows what is coming and will smile! She is so awesome! As Ken and I always say, "The best baby ever!!!!"
Friday, October 30, 2009
She's Talking
Katie has discovered her voice. She is talking a ton now but of course the minute I turn the camera on she stops talking, lol. I did manage to get her talking just a little bit on this video. She just cracks me up! Watch the video all the way to the end for a fun surprise. Oh, I just love her soooo much!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Our Little Dancing Queen
Turn up the volume and enjoy...At the end of The Proposal they roll the credits with some fun music and than it would stop the music and show some clips, it goes back and forth like that for awhile. Well Ken noticed that Katie would move her arm around when the music came on, lol. It was so cute. She is our little dancer, ya! Ken and I were laughing so hard we could barely talk...that is way my voice sounds so high pitched and weird, lol.
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